Fellowship of the Ring
Elrond: Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the fellowship of the ring.
Pippin: Great! Where are we going?
Frodo: Go back, Sam. I'm going to Mordor alone.
Sam: Of course you are. And I'm coming with you.
Bilbo: I don't know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.
Pippin: Anyways, you need people of intelligence on this sort of... mission... quest... thing.
Merry: Well, that rules you out, Pip.
Pippin: Oh that's nice - ash on my tomatoes.
Gimli: Dwarf doors are invisible when closed.
Gandalf: Yes, Gimli, their own masters cannot find them, if their secrets are forgotten.
Legolas: Why doesn't that surprise me?
[about opening to the doors to Moria]
Gandalf: I once knew every spell in all the tongues of Elves... Men... and Orcs.
Pippin: What are you going to do, then?
Gandalf: Knock your head against these doors, Peregrin Took! And if that does not shatter them, and I am allowed a little peace from foolish questions, I will try to find the opening words.
The Two Towers
Gimli: [failing to see over the wall] What's happening out there?
Legolas: Shall I describe it to you?
Gimli: [turns] Hmm?
Legolas: Or would you like me to find you a box?
Gimli: [laughs]
[during the Battle of Helm's Deep, Gimli has killed an Uruk-Hai warrior]
Gimli: Legolas! Two already!
Legolas: I'm on seventeen!
Gimli: Huh? I'll have no pointy-ear outscoring me![kills another one]
Legolas: [shoots two more arrows] Nineteen!
[after falling off from the horse]
Gimli: That was deliberate, it was deliberate.
Legolas: Final count, forty-two.
Gimli: Forty-two? Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE.
Legolas: [takes out an arrow, and shoots the Uruk Gimli is sitting on in the stomach] Forty-three.
Gimli: He was already dead!
Legolas: He was twitching.
Gimli: He was twitching because he's got my axe EMBEDDED IN HIS NERVOUS SYSTEM!
[rattles the handle of his axe; the Uruk's arms and legs twitch]
Gimli: [to a Warg] Bring your pretty face to my axe.
[the Warg leaps towards him]
Legolas: [shoots Warg, which falls over]
Gimli: But that one counts as mine!
Return of the King
[in a drinking game]
Gimli: It's the Dwarves that go swimming with little, hairy woman.
[he burps]
Legolas: I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me.
Gimli: What did I say? He can't hold his liquor.
[Gimli passes out]
Legolas: [to Eomer, who is watching] Game over.
Aragorn: [decapitates the Mouth of Sauron with a swift stroke of his sword]
Gimli: I guess that concludes negotiations.
[after Legolas single-handedly takes out an Oliphant and its drivers]
Gimli: That still only counts as one!
Gimli: Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf.
Legolas: What about side by side with a friend?
Gimli: Aye. I could do that.
Gimli: Certainty of death... Small chance of success... What are we waiting for?
Gimli: [to Legolas, as they're about to go into battle] There's plenty for the both of us. May the best Dwarf win!
Gimli: Well, this is a thing unheard of. An Elf would go underground, where a Dwarf dare not... [runs in after them] Oh, I'd never hear the end of it.
[Aragorn readies to take the Paths of the Dead. He leads his horse towards the entrance and passes by Gimli, who stops him]
Gimli: Where do you think you're going?
Aragorn: Not this time Gimli.
Legolas: [walks up to them, leading his horse] Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?
Gimli: You may as well accept it. We're going with you, laddy.