Joey: Why were you even carrying that thing around in the first place?
Tea: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school.
Tristan: Hey, my wallet's missing!
Tea: *points* Kaiba took it!
Kaiba: Screw the rules, I have money!
Yami: My grandpa's deck has no pathetic cards, Kaiba! Except maybe for Kuriboh.
Yami: It seems that Bakura has somehow placed our souls within each of our favourite cards. Either that or he's turned you all into cosplayers.
Joey: Dat bastard!
Yami: By the way, Tristan's dead.
Joey: Oh not again.
Joey: Wait a second, why are there two Yugis?
Yugi: I'm not sure. But sometimes when I'm dueling, it's like I can feel a powerful voice inside my head telling me how to win.
Tristan: Does that mean you've been cheating?
Yugi: Well it's more complicated than that.
Joey: Sounds like cheating to me Yuge.
Yugi: It's not cheating! It's more like we have a spiritual connection that goes far beyond any -
Joey: Hey, big Yugi! Has Little Yugi been cheating this whole time?
Yami: *nods*
Yugi: Oh, you guys can all just go straight to hell.
Yami: Now I'll place Tea in face-down position! I've always wanted to say that.
Yugi: One of us has to sacrifice themselves in order to kill that monster! I nominate Tristan.
Tea: Second it.
Joey: Please don't kill me! I have three best friends - kill them instead!
Yugi: We heard screaming, is everyone okay?!
Mai: I lost another duel!
Yugi: You were screaming because of that?! What are you, five years old?
Joey: Touch me again Tristan and you're going home in a body bag.
Mai: Could I have my starchips back now?
Yami: Only if you beg me. Come on get on your knees.
Mai: You're kidding, right?
Yami: Did I stutter or something? Bark like a dog, woman!
Joey: Now we just gotta win the prize money! And then I can buy some new friends!
Yugi: what about your sister, Joey?
Joey: Yeah, I can buy a new sister too!
Yami: Yugi you look like a bondage slave.
Yugi: Perfect! Girls love bondage slaves! Don't they?
Yami: If you've set me up on a date with Tea, I'll never forgive you! You know how much I hate her constant friendship speeches.
Yugi: Don't worry, Pharaoh. It's safe to say that today will be completely normal. *winks*
Yami: Yugi I can see you winking.
Yami: F**king birds.
*Beauty and the Beast music is playing*
Yami: This date is lame, it's such a bore. I'd rather be home playing card games more and more. If you ask me, Tea's a whore. But then that's nothing new she was like that before.
Tea: Teehehehehehe! Yatta!
Yami: Is the date over yet?
Tea: By the way, why didn't you do anything when he was beating the crap out of me?
Yami: I thought it was part of the game.
Tea: But, he was attacking me!
Yami: I know. It looked like fun.
Johnny Steps: And if Johnny Steps wins, Tea has to go on a date with him! I mean me.
Yami: Trust me Johnny, ya don't want that. She'll sing Disney songs, and birds will randomly attack you!
Mokuba: Check it out bro, Joey's down there!
Kaiba: Quick Mokuba, land on top of him!
Yami: No wait! Something is wrong! He looks slightly more brain-dead than usual. I wonder how this will affect - our friendship!
Kaiba: I still say we should land on him. Come on, it'll be funny.
Joey/Marik: I wouldn't do that Kaiba! If you interfere in this duel, then your precious Tea will be crushed to death!
Kaiba: NO! NOT TEA! Mokuba which one is Tea? Is that the one with the pointy hair and the Bullwinkle voice?
Duke: You guys are making me sexy. You won't like me when I'm sexy!
Tristan: IT'S THE WITCH!
Marik: The power of my midriff compels you!